How to deal with other people's anger 
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Have you had the experience of someone shouting at you? Or someone silently resenting your very presence? Ever heard someone talk about you negatively behind your back? Or listened to a beloved one's complaining?
These are all forms of anger, expressed differently. Of course there are more examples, I'm not going to name all of them here.

What do you usually do? How do you normally respond? Is it serving you? Is it serving you in the long run as well as for the short term?

The way I see it, there are two common reactions to another person's anger and both are agressive. Either the receiving person re-acts the anger or the receiver re-directs the anger.

An example
Someone says: "How could you have.......?"
The receiver then either
- re-acts the anger in the same direction, namely, towards the self (by attacking their own truth/story about reality, behaviour, feelings or being) and maybe as a result of that feeling guilty (which isn't the healing kind),
or the receiver
- re-directs the anger by attacking the angry persons 'self', their truth, behaviour, feelings or being, for instance by saying: "How can you be blaming me?!" or by angrily ignoring the other person (punishing).

When someone is angry at you, your only truly (self) serving answer could be:

I love myself.

You don't say it out loud, but to yourself, inside. It's the best way to not become a player in the anger game the other person has set up for you two to play.
When you say this to yourself, focus your attention on the sentence.
No matter how angry the person across from you is (exept when they're dangerous to your physical well-being), this answer will give you everything you need in order to come to an appropriate response to anger. It can become 'I love myself enough to give space to my inner peace', '...enough to be patient with myself', ' keep caring for my needs', etc.
Then, when you can remain completely at ease and calm within yourself (I'm often not there yet), you can start treating the angry person with love. There are texts about how to do that on the internet.

Remember, you're both dealing with anger here in the first place, the subject the other person is angry about is secondary to that.
Have you ever tried to put a sowing thread through a needle when you were really furious? Solving a problem or communicating when angry is as difficult (or impossilble, depending on the level of intensity of your anger).

Practise loving yourself whenever your around anger, someone else's towards a third party or of someone elses towards you. Then, when you have enough love, maybe you'll discover your own anger and what it's destroying or trying to destroy.
When you have enough love you can learn to act on that instead of your anger.

Note: when another person is becoming a real threat to you, your first action coming from love should be leaving for the moment.
If you can, say "I need a time out, I'll be back in half an hour/hour/however long you need to become loving towards yourself again so the interaction no longer is a threat to you emotionally and mentally/however long you think it takes before the other person regains control and is no longer a threat to you physically.

When you want to learn more on how to love yourself practically in such a moment, see ingredients for lovesenergy or ingredienten voor lovesenergy for dutch speakers.

Good luck and lots of love!

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, - Verhalen
Posted by Administrator
In the silence, after all the jobs are left undone jet again, the tired heart tries to get some rest.
As the controller tries to put the mind to sleep the demons just begin to wake. Now is their only chance to get in touch... They try to get attention as best they can.
Controller panics at the sight and tries to steer away from the attack. Controller is alone, afraid, and cannot do it's job. It causes tired heart to beat like crazy, waking up the body, now the whole is in a frenzy. Controller feels like a failure, calls out for help by ringing all the alarms inside.
Each time controller tries to listen the silence and it's monsters are ready to jump on him. The eerie aftermath of sound, the silent echoes of metaphysical bells forebodes the coming of the demons.
Wisdom comes, to rescue poor controller, liberates the overwhelmed. It says: "You will be free when you can name you demons. Be sure to know their names inside and out. Appearance often is misleading, don't let the outside fool you, don't think you know what it represents. Be willing to get to really see. When someone pokes you to get attention, do you obsess about the poke? Or do you pay attention to the message? If someone wants to share something important with you for a long time, but you haven't been paying attention, don't you think he will poke harder and harder to get your attention? Remember to look past the poke... Try and see the demons true colours, literally. Try to see them in a current light."
Now knowing what to do, the soul returns and takes charge, relieving controller of a task that went way over it's head, the mind enquires, the heart opens peacefully and calm. It gets it's rest, the mind gets it's work and the body can relax. The journey begins and dreams come. Sleep sets in.
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Een weids bevroren landschap, wit en niet betreden. 't Is mistig en oneindig. Eenzaamheid en kou. De fase van ontdekken is aangebroken. Geen kleding kan hier tegenop.
De omgeving bevriest ook de geest. Gedachten veranderen in ijskristallen, zo doorzichtig. Alsof ze niet bestaan. De eenzaamheid verdiept zich. Geen troost, geen warmte, geen leven in deze plek. Het leven is hier bevroren. De stilte is onbekend. Tijd bestaat niet.
Mensen worden wakker. Liggen in hun bed. Diep onder de dekens blijft het van binnen koud. Vragen cirkelen als aasgieren rond in hun hoofden. Zij zoeken naar een prooi, maar kunnen die niet vinden. Alles is bevroren.
Mensen zoeken houvast. Vragen hulp aan vragen. Vinden kameraden in de vragen. Doen alsof dit warmte brengt als ze rillend opstaan. De rilling is een ongenode gast.
Mensen gaan weer slapen. Lopen door de stad. Werken heel de dag en zorgen voor hun kinderen. Het landschap van ijs is vergeten. Bedekt onder de lagen van bestaan. De kleine speldenprikjes zijn niet voldoende om terug naar huis te keren.
Mensen maken brokken. Ze maken ze genoeg. Precies voldoende voor bevruchting van de openbaringen. Het bewustzijn groeit en wint gestaag aan kracht. Het bewustzijn schijnt weldra alle dag en nacht.
Bewustzijn is besmettelijk. Er heerst een epidemie. De koude van de mensheid wordt verdreven. Geen mens begeeft zich vrijwillig in de wereld van het ijs. Niemand komt levend terug van de leegte.
Mensen zijn op reis. Verlangend naar vervulling en uit liefde voor het leven. De eerste zonnestralen geven warmte, en zo besef van kou. Het licht laat oneindige ruimte zien, een uitgestrekt ijsparadijs.
De eerste aanblik soms bang en jaagt soms mensen weg. Geduldige en standvastige mensen blijven in het paradijs. Zo smelten zij het langzaam, door liefde van hun zijn. Het smelten van het ijs geeft langzaamaan een richting aan. Leven zit nog altijd veilig en beschermd in bollen en zaden in de grond. Gezegend met hun eigenheid, hun eigen kleur en stem. De tranen geven later water, als het ontdooide paradijs ze weer vervoeren kan.
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